What should I measure?

In every organization  you have to have ways to determine progression, stagnation, and regression. Constant evaluation and openness to dialogue about these things are huge ways of making sure that things are going according to your vision. In order to evaluate there has to be some sort of way you can "measure" whats going on. 

I had a real hard time with this when I first got into the church (10 years ago) because how are we suppose to measure transformation? How are we suppose to measure character? This concept just didn't seem to fit into my small brain, which was probably my first issue. 

I shortly discovered that in church, the easiest things to measure are the tangible. Makes sense right? Since the church is non-profit they obviously cant measure the amount of money they make. The next big tangible thing is the amount of people that come to the services, events, programs, etc. Also because of today's culture and society, typically we believe the bigger the better. (Don't believe me, look at the cars we drive, the houses we long for, the food offered at restaurants)

I spent the first couple of years of my church life trying to get more people into the doors. I had dynamic messages that were highly interactive and imparted great wisdom to the kids, games, events, I would call them all time, go to games, have sleep overs, all nighters, everything I could think of that would draw a crowd. I actually did alright at it. But then I noticed how tired I was and how much guilt I placed on myself. If I didn't call someone and they didn't show up then it was my fault. If the event only had 20 students show up then I failed.  

Then I became angry because of all the work I was doing that no one else seemed to share the same passion and zeal. 

Then I saw that there was no real transformation happening, kids weren't following Jesus, that weren't reading the Scriptures, they were coming to be entertained and to get out of their house. 

I then began to notice how much the ministry revolved around me.

It wasn't Christ centered, it was Dusty centered.

I started going through a process of wrestling with God, wondering why he had such high expectations of me. I began to wonder if ministry was really what God called me in or if it was just me trying to be a hero or something. I began reading different books, and talking with different people that were going through the same thing as me. 

This challenged me to look at ministry and the church differently. It allowed me to step back and deconstruct and reconstruct my thoughts on how God wanted me to live and evaluate what was going on.

In the next post or 2 I would like to share some of things that I have been wrestling with to help have a better understanding of some things that I can measure. And hopefully all of you will have some wisdom and experience to help me along as well.