Finding a Rhythm

I heard Rob Bell say that the ancient Hebrews believed that breathing is a physical picture of a deeper reality. For me I haven't really noticed my breath and how it reacts and adjusts to things in life until recently.

As many of you know I have hurt my back on several occasions the over the last year or so, and from that I have begun to notice when my back is at its limit, or when I haven't been doing my exercises, or when I haven't stretched. 

A few months ago I was at the dentist and they told me that I needed a mouth piece because I was grinding my teeth severely. I didn't believe them. The Doc told me that my teeth should never touch each other unless I am chewing while I am eating. I started to pay a bit more attention to clenching my jaw and sure enough I constantly bit down hard. 

I have always said to people that I don't think people sigh just to sigh, usually there is something behind it, some thought, some emotion, some spark that caused them to sigh. I began to notice that my breathing had turned to frequent sighs. 

My mind was constantly occupied with things that stressed me out, or that I was worrying about, and sometimes they were meaningless thoughts or day dreams that consumed my thoughts. The thoughts, of course, then drove several emotions that would then make me sigh. 

Your breath has a natural rhythm to it, and often the slower deeper you breath the more it tends to calm and relax your body, mind, and emotions. 

I have recently committed to gain more awareness of my rhythm of life, because of this I decided to stop listening to the radio in my car as much, and any down time I have to prayer the Jesus Prayer. 

I started with breathing in saying "Lord, Son of David" and exhaling saying "have mercy on me, a sinner." As I tried to pray that in rhythm with my breathing I noticed I focused way more on trying to say all that in rhythm instead of just letting it happen. I relaxed a little bit and tried to see what came out naturally. I found myself praying "Lord, have mercy on me" on my inhale and praying "a sinner" on the exhale. 

Its been about 3 days since I have started that, and though the rhythm of breathing is natural, its been a struggle to consistently pray during the down time and the car rides. I suppose that's why they call it a spiritual discipline. 

Perhaps when it becomes less of a struggle to pray I will have greater insight of the deeper realities that the breath points the spirit of life, but for now it remains more of a discipline.