Fencing Life In

I had a dream last night that I was going to a my 10 year high school reunion. Funny thing is, my 10 year reunion was 2 years ago. Anyway, as I got there I was surrounded by people who were stuck in the past. You know that guy that still wears his letterman's jacket, the girl who is still talking about the guys she dated, the nerd who always got made fun of and now is some successful business man with a smoking hot wife but still wishes he could have been in the "popular" crowed. You know, those sort of people.

As I continued my dream I went from being totally stoked seeing these people I haven't seen in 10 years to saddened they were stuck in the past and unable to move on. It was as if they built a fence around their life and nothing had changed. They were living their glory days as if life had peaked when they had turned 17. 

When I woke up I thought through the last 10 years of my life which is sometimes a scary process because I don't always make the best decisions, and I have hurt some people along the way. But this morning was much more of a joyful experience. The last 10 years I have experienced life and as I have turned 30 I feel more alive today than I did when I was 17. I would have missed so much if I had built a fence around my life.

Remembering the past isn't a bad thing, but being stuck there can be. As Brody gets older its tough to see him move through each developmental stage in life. Andi and I both want to be able to hold him forever, have him fall asleep on our shoulder and chest, wake him up from a nap to find him smiling at us with joy to see us. We know those things wont last forever and yet we want them to, so we take photos and video to help remind us what it was like. 

The amazing thing is being present in each stage because each stage of his development brings us a new joy we have never experienced. It is awesome to jump for joy when he rolled over for the first time. To hug and kiss him when he mimicked us doing zerbert noises, and we cried the first time he recognized us with a huge smile. I wouldn't trade those things for anything and I am looking forward to things that lie ahead. 

Fencing life leaves you stuck in the past as if life had peaked. I think there is much more life to live.